100 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do At Camp Half - Blood
by an obsessive fangirl
Summary: From making Percy the star of The Little Mermaid to sacrificing tree branches to annoy the gods, these are some things you should definitely try out when you get to Camp Half - Blood.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! Padfoot Jr. here. As you can see, this is a list of things to definitely NOT do at Camp! I think I'm gonna try to do 100. So comment your ideas!  
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**1) 'Hug A Hades Kid Day' is not a national holiday.**

"Hey. Hey. Hey Nico." A very hyper girl with black hair and silver eyes danced around the child of Hades.

"What now, Pads?" Nico glanced up at the girl wearily. "Who gave you the sugar?"

"No one!" Padfoot giggled. "Nico. Guess what day it is?"

Nico rolled his eyes. "Oh gods Pads, not Hump Day again."

"Nope!" Padfoot cheered. "Guess!"

"Wednesday?"

"Nope!"

"July 18?"

"Nope!"

"What is it, then?!" Nico threw his hands up into the air.

"NATIONAL HUG A HADES KID DAY!" Padfoot exclaimed gleefully, wrapping her arms around the smaller boy. Out of the corners of Nico's eyes, he could see signs advertising this holiday everywhere. People were actually lining up.

"I. Hate. You. Padfoot." Nico hissed.

Padfoot kissed him on the cheek. "Gotta go little bro, Hazel needs a hug too!"

That's when the swarm attacked.


	2. Chapter 2

Here we are again.  
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**2) Kronos is not Luke's father, and I shall not demonstrate this 'fact' in a puppet show.**

"Luuuuuuuuke." A gravelly voice bellowed, cracking multiple times. The crowd was full of youngsters that thought it was hysterical and older campers that actually knew Luke and thought it was even funnier.

"P-pads," Percy gasped.

"I made the puppets." Leo raised a hand. "I get partial credit."

The puppets were actually pretty accurate looking - for socks. Luke's had his bright blue eyes and Kronos' was wearing a Vadar mask. "Luuuuuuuuke. I am your faaatherrrrrrr." Padfoot's voice squeaked because of the lowness but that just made everyone laugh harder.

"Pad-foot!" Annabeth walked over, hands on her hips. "Chiron is gonna kill you! Run!"

Padfoot yelped and abandoned the puppets before dashing off into the woods, laughter chasing her from behind.


	3. Chapter 3

And again.  
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**3) I am not allowed to sacrifice tree branches to the gods.**

"Hmmmm... hmm hmmm hmm hm hmmmmm..." Padfoot strolled around the woods, merrily humming to herself.

"What are you looking for?" A dryad asked.

"A stick," Padfoot said. "It needs to be a really nasty stick."

"There's one a ways over there, covered in termites and such." The dryad's voice was flowy and light.

"Why thank you." Padfoot gave the dryad a huge, toothy grin before picking up the aforementioned stick and running towards the Dining Hall.

She was just in time for sacrifices. Just like everyone else, Padfoot strolled up to the fire and dumped the stick in before whispering, "Take that, Olympus."

Thunder rumbled above and the earth trembled and somewhere, the sea was churning too. "Padfoot!" Piper exclaimed in a panic.

"Gotta go!" Padfoot waved cheerfully before running and screaming, "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, IM THE AUTHORBREAD MAN!"


	4. Chapter 4

Another rule comin' up!

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**4) Chiron is not a pony.**

"My Little Ponyyyyyyy!" Padfoot sung cheerfully. "I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE!"

Leo furrowed his eyebrows at the excited girl. "What are you _singing_, Pads?"

Piper chuckled. "Well now we know why she's not Apollo's kid."

"UNTIL YOU SHARED ALL ITS MAGIC WITH MEEE!"

Jason just covered his ears. "Padfoot?"

"BIG ADVENTURE, TONS OF FUN!"

"Pads..?" Leo questioned. "Is that..?"

"A BEAUTIFUL HEART, FAITHFUL AND STRONG. SHARING KINDNESS!"

"Oh no," Piper groaned. "This is part of her rulebook, isn't it?"

"IT'S AN EASY FEAT. AND MAGIC MAKES IT ALL COMPLETE!"

Chiron galloped over to their lunch table, wanting to see what the fuss was all about. "Miss Padfoot? May I ask you-"

"MY LITTLE PONY!" Padfoot cried in happiness, hugging Chiron around the neck. "DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALL MY VERY BEST FRIENDS?" With a wave, Padfoot released the confused centaur and ran away to her cabin, where the Stolls had recorded the whole thing. "My twenty bucks, please?"


	5. Chapter 5

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**5) I am not allowed to play matchmaker with my favorite couples.**

"Aha." Padfoot searched the unconscious form's pockets until she found Travis Stoll's favorite pen. Biting her lip, she began to write.

_Dear Katie,_

_Hey. You're pretty. And nice. I like you._

_-Travis_

Deciding that it was genius, Padfoot licked her lips and sealed it in an envelope before taking off. She may have 'forgot' to give Travis his pen back, but hey! It was a good pen!

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Padfoot slowly nocked an arrow in place and took aim. The bow strings were making her fingers itch, but then she said, "Hey, I'm the author. I can do whatever I want. My fingers don't hurt."

And they didn't.

"TRAVIS STOLL!" Katie was storming up to Travis. Padfoot's eyes lit up. This was her chance!

Carefully, she took aim. Just as Katie went to slap the poor, confused soul, Padfoot let the arrow loose. It soared through the air and the dulled tip hit Katie's hand. The silver eyed girl watched from in a tree as Katie flipped open the notecard attached.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Stoll,_

_Have a nice day, lovebirds!_

_Kisses,_

_Cupid_


	6. Chapter 6

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**6) I am not allowed to decorate the Hades cabin for Valentine's day.**

"Skipadee doo dah, skipadee dae!" Padfoot sang as she sprung around, stealing all the Aphrodite cabin's Valentine's decorations. They were all outside because rumor had it that Justin Bieber was a son of Apollo and he would be there any minute. Padfoot smirked to herself - it was just. too. easy.

The Aphrodite girls had a strange sense of fashion. They liked the color pink, for one. And they liked green. BOO SLYTHERIN.

"This is what they get for being Slytherin supporters," Padfoot said to herself. She then shoved all of the little glass Cupid figurines and streamers and stickers and posters of boys (those were festive, right) and a bottle of perfume into her bag. Like a TARDIS, the inside was bigger than it looked.

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"Hmmm..." Padfoot hummed as she put the last finishing touches on her masterpiece. The Hades cabin looked beautiful! The walls were pink and decorated with boy band posters. The carpet was pink and glittery. There were baby glass Cupids enchanted to fly around the ceiling. And it smelled like artificial roses!

"PadFOOT!"

"Eughablah!" Padfoot stood up straight and gave Nico a frightened smile. "Um... happy Valentine's day, little bro?"

"So that's where our decorations went!" Drew hissed, appearing right behind Nico.

"Ehem... gotta run!" Padfoot squealed, Apparating to her bunk.

**6a) Especially if they're stolen from Aphrodite's bunk.**


End file.
